What does it take to have a congenial, long-lasting marriage?

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By: fongsuimy

Are majority of long married couples not happy in their relationships? That question has been bothering me for quite some time now. As a consultant of Feng Shui, I encounter several couples with less than perfect marriages. While wanting to improve their relationship with their spouse, my clients often ask if there is a secret cure or recommendation that I could give them.

Asking around, I polled a few of my married friends and got their opinion on the matter. I choose this select group because they are older - over fifty years old - and have been married for many years. Their answer shocked me. Based on their personal experience and those of their friends, they think that 90% of married couples are, in one way or another, unhappy with their relationships.

Sadly, they don't have fairy tale happy endings.

The question now to be asked is if there is a cure. Maybe there is.

It is also a practice to check the horoscope. The horoscope of the betrothed pair are evaluated, before they are permitted to marry.

Will this succeed every time? While it may increase the chances, there is still a chance it won't work. However through years of observation, they found out that if you combine it with some conditions, you can increase the chances of having a happy and lasting marriage.

Noteworthy is that people of broken marriages or relationships should take this wisdom more useful.

Here are some of the conditions.

In times past, a husband was always required or expected to be older than his wife. This is like a tradition. You should not be able to break it, because it cannot be broken. The ancients also noticed that breaking the tradition for those with failed marriages or other relationships was important. In ancient China, even if a wife is only one day older than her spouse, she would be considered the elder. But for more positive results, a bigger age difference is better.

The other option for a more successful relationship is for the husband to be much older than the wife. The ancient Chinese interpreted much older as at least 8 years of age difference. An age disparity of 10 to 15 years is seen as OK in practice.

It would also increase the chances if there is a big disparity in the social and economic standard between the husband and the wife. Just for example the husband is a CEO of a big corporation and has been highly educated,while the wife does not near as much education and comes from a family that is poor. Is there any other way to do it? A husband being always a breadwinner in olden days it was not possible. However in current modern times, where a lot of women earn more than than their husbands, why not?

The second condition applies to ladies only - especially the elderly. If she cannot be a successful first wife, it does not mean that she cannot be successful being the second or third one. In other words, you can be successful by becoming the other woman! I feel doubtful about being the other guy, however!

If nothing above works what do we do?

The final option is to have a spouse that is of a different race or from a different culture. Indians and Chinese from two different culture. For example, one brought up in China and in the other in the United States.

These are wisdoms that our forefathers have passed down to us. So, and especially, if you are relationship challenged, give it a try. You cannot possibly lose!