Negative Responces to Your Engagement

A free article on Society and Culture

By: Pamela Kazmierczak

Planning a wedding can be a very happy time. Usually our family and friends are happy for us, glad that we found the one we want to spend the rest of our lives with. However, this is not always the case.

Realize that everyone may not be happy of this announcement. Consider this before telling people so you are not surprised if you happen to get any less than favorable reactions.

Sometimes our friends are not as happy for us as we thought they would be. They may be upset if they do not like your fiancé, if they feel that for some reason this in not the best match. Friends can be fiercely protective of one another so it is possible that they may voice their concerns, even if they never did so in the past. It is important to listen to what they have to say and not to dismiss it out of hand. Try not to interrupt them, argue or stop listening to them before they are finished. Once they are done respond to what they have to say, if what they said needs to be thought about let them know. Finish by letting them know that you appreciate their concern for you and are thankful of their friendship.

However, sometimes the problem has nothing to do with your relationship and it actually because your friends may be envious of you. I know it is hard to believe as they should be happy for you but they may wish they were in your situation. They may have reasons why they are upset which have nothing to do with you, including be envious of you and or the person you found to spend the rest of your life with. For those friends who are already married they may wish they could be at that point in their life again where everything is ahead of them or they may even be jealous of all the extra attention you will be getting over the next several months leading up to the wedding.

A negative response from your parents is different. Your parents will not be jealous of you, but they do want the best for you. They may be upset because they do not think your choice in spouse is the right one for you, they may feel you two have not known each other long enough or that this is not the right time for you to get married. Hopefully your parents will be happy for you and congratulate you but telling parents is different than friends and the response may be different as well. Whether or not if they feel happiness for you they may still bombard you with questions, questions which you may not be able to answer. If this is the case you should let them know that you are not ready to go into all the planning details yet, do not let them pressure you into committing to anything or telling them anything you are not ready to.

If you already know your parents will be unhappy because they have already expressed dislike of your fiancé it would be best if you told them alone. Spare your fiancé the negative and hurtful things that may come from your parents.

Be sure to make your parents aware that you have already made up your mind and nothing they can say will change it. Make it clear that although your respect their opionion, you are an adult and it is up to you to make your own decisions, including the person who you are to spend the rest of your life with.

If the parents that are angry are your future in-laws try not to let it bother you, it may not be personal. They may have no direct problem with you but may be taking it out on you; you may not know why they are really upset. Just remember that it is you and your fiancés opinion on the subject which is most important and you choose to get married.

If either sets of parents do heavily disapprove it would be wise to not go to them for money. Do not ask for or accept any money from individuals who are truly against this union. However you should let them know that even though they do not need to contribute monetarily to the wedding that they are still important to you and you would like them involved in your special day.

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